Season 2005-06 Result
Newcastle United 0-0 West Ham United
 J.Jenas.  Konchesky.
Date: 20/08/2005  Venue: St.James' Park  Competition: Premiership
Crowd: 51,620
Match Report Submitted on 22/08/2005 by Johna
'EASY…..EASY…..EASY'

Unfortunately our first home game of the season ended with the above chants of the West Ham fans echoing in our ears. Yes…this was the same side that finished 6th in the 1st Division last year and scraped through the play offs to join the Premier Elite. Yes…. the same side who played for the last 30 minutes of this game with only 10 men with comparative ease.

So where do we start? First home game,….undefeated…..no goals against???? No I think not!! This was a shambolic display that does not auger well for the new season.

Both sides started off with a 4-4-2 formation with the Mags having Shearer and Milner upfront and Boyer and Nzogbia running the wide berths. West Ham started the brighter of the 2 sides moving the ball confidently through midfield and relying on the pace of Harewood to cause us problems at the back. Fortunately for us, both Boumsong and Taylor were in impressive form to repel such attacks with ease. Chances however were at a premium as the game degenerated into a midfield battle.

Into the second half, Jenas on a great run was crudely denied a run on goal resulting in a red card and West Ham down to 10 men. Surely this was our chance to seize victory!!

Enter Souness the great tactical genius. As everybody who has played football knows…pass the ball, make the 10 men work, keep spreading it wide to stretch the defence. So what does he do??? Replace Nzogbia….the only guy in our team, sorry, squad who has an inkling of how to play wide with….. Lee Fkn Clark. Now don’t get me wrong, Clarkie will always be a legend at the Toon BUT I have a major issue when we are bringing back players who Kev deemed not good enough for his side 8 years ago..and removing any fckn width we had….give me strength!!

As a result lets just play everything down the middle…Big Al might just get a lucky break and score. Despite 1 free kick ( our only genuine strike on goal), we failed miserably to trouble Roy Carroll and the game ended predictably in a 0-0 draw. Seriously disappointing for a side harbouring European ambitions….lets not forget they were the bookies third favourite for relegation!!

So what can we conclude?

We now have a side devoid of width and individual talent who will work hard all day but with what result…(recruit in your own image??????)Personally, I cannot see Alan scoring 6 goals from open play so I must assume we need penalties or free kicks for Al to break Wor Jackies record….Al knew when he had to retire!!

Now a message to Fat Fred and Graeme……you have stripped this club of its problem people and the dressing room is sure to be a better environment BUT isn’t the secret of management ..the ability to manage people?? I seriously fear for our future and as a separate message for our gypsy boss…read Charles Handy’s “Empty Raincoat”

This states a well known fact of the “frog in the boiling water”. If you place a frog into a bowl of water and gently heat it from underneath, the frog..lulled by its false position and sense of security falls asleep. By the time it wakes up … it is too late and its organs are destroyed and ultimately it dies……

Fat Fred…don’t assume your fan base will be here forever….many have had enough!

Sir John was a ruthless individual …..but very clever

Fat Fred …..ruthless but????????

Anyway onto more important issues..what happened to young Chrissy? Put into the care and guidance of new father Studs, Chrissy was left by himself in Newcastle to fend for himself on the train home with the ICF. Obviously a new responsibility for Studs but Fck me why not dowse him in petrol then offer him a tab surely safer than Studs approach??

Hopefully time will bring greater maturity!!

Finally, having watched this debacle…..my liver is twitching as….. Shearers Bar is itching….looks like a long hard season