Season 2005-06 Result
Newcastle United 0-2 Manchester United
 S.Parker.  W.Rooney 66,
 R.van Nistelrooy 90.
 R.van Nistelrooy,
 C.Ronaldo.
Date: 28/08/2005  Venue: St.James' Park  Competition: Premiership
Crowd: 52,327
Match Report Submitted on 29/08/2005 by Smike
Manure Make You Sick?

Another goalless performance, more defensive errors and another case of bringing players back too quickly after injury.

The first half was promising as we competed well as we had done on the first day of the season at Highbury. Although Manure looked dangerous on the break we were the better team and looked most likely to take the lead in the early stages. Within the first 15 mins Shearer headed an Emre corner just wide and Luque had a goal disallowed after latching on to a Shearer shot that was too powerful for Van der Sar to hold. Once again we looked strong across the middle of the park with Parker bossing the midfield, however Jenas replaced Emre who was holding his hamstring after 25 mins and Dyer was then replaced by Ameobi after 35 mins. This was a turning point as Manure began to look dangerous and Given made a great save from Ronaldo. Shortly afterwards Ronaldo scuffed a shot wide after Bowyers intended back pass was too short. Luque looked like he was enjoying his debut and made some great runs into dangerous positions.

Big Al looked more like his old self as he battled for every loose ball, something which Heinze, in particular took exception to.

Manure looked stronger as the second half began with a shot from Scholes. Bowyer then limped off to be replaced by Faye. Boumsong then dropped his first clanger when he made a mess of a long ball which resulted in Rooney opening the scoring. We still had chances yet never really looked like scoring before Van Nistlerooy sealed the win with a goal in the 90 minute after another slip up from Boumsong. Ronaldo was at his theatrical best as he threw himself to the ground whenever a Toon player went any where near him.

Regardless of the result this was a spirited Toon performance that was marred by another injury fiasco. Taylor and Parker were our outstanding players, however the gulf between the two teams was very evident in the comparison of substitutes. They had Giggs, we had Faye. Enough said?

The whole day had been too much for Greavsie as he emptied the contents of his stomach into a plastic pint glass on the way home - a result of too much Snakebite rather than the effects of Rooney and Co?

If Manure had a sense of humour they'd have given Heinze a number 57 shirt to wear.