Season 2005-06 Result
West Ham United 2-4 Newcastle United
 N.Solano 20 (og),
 Harewood 73 (pen).
 Carroll,
 Ferdinand,
 Etherington.
 M.Owen 5,
 M.Owen 43,
 A.Shearer 66,
 M.Owen 90.
 T.Bramble,
 S.Ameobi,
 S.Parker.
Date: 17/12/2005  Venue: Upton Park  Competition: Premiership
Crowd: 34,836
Match Report Submitted on 18/12/2005 by Stevie
Ok, I’m not the most frequent of visitors to Newcastle matches and may be a bit naive but I presumed when Dirk asked me to pick up my ticket in the “Boleyn” that there may be a few of the toon army in there.

In I bounced with my black and white shirt fully visible into the biggest pile of West Ham nutters I’ve seen since the infamous petrol bomb incident. Not a black and white shirt in site. After a few comments from the punters I made a swift exit to phone Dirk. No answer. Phoned Neil from Chester-le-Street (old mate of many years who I was meeting). No answer.

Waited outside for a couple of minutes and decided to go back in to look for Dirk (shirt still visible, I’m that hard!) when a copper stopped me and said “You don’t want to go in their son, it’s a home pub.” I replied with a swift “Thanks Dad” (not really) and headed of down the road to “The Central” after learning that the kick off was delayed by half an hour. On route I learned that the cliché’s are all true. I’m not kidding, 200 cockneys outside “Nathan’s Pie and Eel shop.” Strange how I’ve never seen any Geordies cueing up for “Stottie cakes.” (Thanks Neil) Anyway, to cut a long story short after several swifties and pleasant conversations with the coppers and Smike I eventually went back to the “Boleyn” and met up with Dirk. Dirk and his mates had no black and white shirts on.

On to the game and St Michael scored on 5 minutes, the vantage point (G25) was a bit low so it seemed to come from nowhere. Good start. Suicide as usual with an own goal from Nobby to square things up although Titus was involved of course, when his “clearance” hit Solano into the back of the net. I appreciate Bramble is a fine athlete but it’s just possible he may be a bit “dim.”

After a crap start West Ham then got into the game a bit more though Alan Pardew`s claim later that they “controlled the game” was incorrect. Both sides had spells of control. Into the lead again just before half time when Owen scored again (off his back or shoulder) from a Nobby free kick. It all got a bit shaky in the second half with West Ham hitting the post and Shearer clearing off the line but it all seemed to be over when Owen put Sir Alan through to make it 3-1.

Of course it can never be that easy. Up popped Ameobi with some basketball practice to give away a needles penalty on 73 minutes scored by Harewood (good player). West Ham then huffed and puffed but the sense of fear within the Newcastle fans and some members of the team was greater than the actual threat.

Where the hell four minutes of extra time came from I’ve no idea. There were no stoppages in the second half. Not that it mattered in the end. On the counter Amdy Faye (actually playing some football now) set up a simple goal for Michael Owen to give him his first Newcastle hat-trick.

Alan Shearer is now 1 short of the Jackie Milburn record of 200 goals. (When there’s no war on.)

I’m not going in the Boleyn again.

Bring on boxing day….