Season 2005-06 Result
Liverpool 2-0 Newcastle United
 S.Gerrard 14,
 S.Given 43 (og).
 P.Crouch.
 L.Bowyer.
Date: 26/12/2005  Venue: Anfield  Competition: Premiership
Crowd: 44,197
Match Report Submitted on 07/01/2006 by Beat
Like Clockwork
8am – Set off with everyone bang on time. George was collected to stop him knocking on the wrong doors trying to find Smike’s House

8.20 – Coley showed off his main Christmas present – a plastic gizmo that turns a can into a bottle. Having entertained his dad with it on Christmas day decided to show us how it snugly fits onto a Coors can.
8.25 - Coley decided that a Muller Rice will keep him right, and it was easier to open than a crushed can of Coors. 8.30 – 8.50 – Money sorted – only £16 a head. (Smile disappeared from James’ face when he realised that this was not the price of the match ticket) Tickets handed out- everything totted-up and fares passed on the driver.
9.00 – Driver hammering on over the A66, into Cumbria, keen to get us to the Hesketh on time. Journey remarkably smooth, roads empty, but a copy of Bingo News on the parcel shelf suggested that the coach may not have crossed the county boundary before. An early sign that things would not continue to go so well. 9.20 - Coley decided that a large tin of Heinz beans and sausages was the right main course to settle his stomach. George was still drinking Fanta with no intention of hitting Dave Endean’s tinnys as – in his words – “Keeping me-sell right for work tommorra”
9.40 - The Only Ted in the Village kept himself right - with a can and sprout & stuffing sandwich. 9.50 - Another can and the massage chairs at Killington Services. £1 for 3 minutes to keep supple for the rock-a-billy session.
10.00 - On the road, destined for the pub – where ‘Sunday’ dinner was booked for 11 o’clock 11.00 (precisely) Parked up in the Hesketh and 3 deep at the bar. Make-up artist steadied his nerves.
11.15 Little demand for Black and White noses, but Passy was confident he was head and shoulders above everyone in hat compo. “Put 'em up, put 'em up! Which one of you first?”
11.20 Only Ted in the Village took the lead in the hat stakes. 11.30 QL’s horizontal effort with cotton wool buds was not to popular with nose artiste.
11.35 That’s the way to do it 11.40 Where’s your noses?
12.35 After 3 pints, and Dave Endean’s football card victory, George re-assessed his strategy for keeping him self right…. “Fcuk work, lets gets drunk” 12:45 Chrissy “Dad – you look like one of them eight legged Buddas”
Sean “Don’t you mean octopus?”
12:50 “So Sarah, how long have you known Beat then?” Greeny : “I was really bad after the Arsenal game, missed work, woke up and couldn’t breathe” Roi “Your lass had the pillow over your
“God save the Queen” “Half pint Harry”
Eventually every one let Passy do his worst, and at 1.30 (precisely) we set off for Anfield. With so many willing models there was no time for Young Girl, but the “Geoff The Tw@t” induced bang on the head didn’t help his mood.
13.40 Still keeping him self right 14:45 Cracking atmosphere, Deerness Valley vs Liverpool abuse hurling competition.
15:00 Kick off …….. 15:45 Game over .
To be continued………