Season 2006-07 Result
Newcastle United 0-0 Middlesbrough
Date: 03/03/2007  Venue: St.James' Park  Competition: Premiership
Crowd: 52,303
Match Report Submitted on 05/03/2007 by Beat
For FCK’s sake

I was surprised that George wasn’t in the Sporties for the Liverpool ManUre kick off.

Bill was there with Sid. But despite George now living nearby, lodging temporarily with Bill, he hadn’t turned-up.

“I made him a fried egg and bacon sandwich, and two cups of tea, and he left the house at 12 noon” said Bill. “He said he was off to the cash machine. So I asked him which one?”

“The one beside FCK” said George. Bill said he was confused.

“Ye knar man Bill, the one that’s beside that big new shop that people drive to. It doesn’t charge.” Bill admitted to being totally baffled.

After a few more clues it turned out he was headed to the hole-in-the-wall machine beside KFC, near to B&Q, that doesn’t charge for withdrawals. He didn’t take Bill’s advice to go to the ‘HASH’ machine – which is also free to use. So after a 2 mile walk, he turned up at one o’clock but made up for his late arrival by squeezing 2½ pints down his throat before the bus arrived.

The bus was almost full – around five empty seats because of an early start for a few – see message board EARLY START - PINT AND A FIGHT! (Never a truer prediction – read on).

One of the regulars had a crimping competition to attend, compounded by problems with his plumbing, and had decided to scratch. And according to Glenn, the McGuinness duo were driving through because Wilf needed to wait for the gas man to show him how to relight his fire.

PC Trapper sat by himself as there were no other coppers on the bus. Davey Endean won the domino card - again. Greeny was on the red wine. It was sunny. All the spare tickets were sold and passed on. Despite a short hold up at Washington Services we made it in time for a couple of pints and in time to see ManUre’s last minute winner. So all was set-up for good show.

The match was as poor as it gets. No passion and no flair - both teams playing with a midfield of tacklers. Titus showed us his full array of long balls. Oneyewu seems to need more time on the ball than Boumsong – but thankfully he doesn’t seem to get knocked off the ball as easily as the Frenchman did. All you can say is that a clean sheet was achieved, but against a team with no interest in attacking. Nobby strolled through the game for us. However Woodgate could have played on one leg. He was in total control and hardly got his shorts dirty.

Walking down towards Tilly’s after the game Glenn ‘thanked’ me for getting him a ticket to see such a $hit game. I promised to remind him of it the next time he rings for a ticket. Just at that moment a kerfuffle started on the bit of grass beside the old city walls. A group of Stone Island, Burberry and basey cap wearing 20-somethings were chasing some blokes wearing exactly the same uniform. No one normal could tell the difference between them. Some comedy chasing and shouting followed, and then a numpty cajoled all of the unimpressed spectators to “Show some passion and get stuck in!” (Strangely he was the furthest away from the kerfuffle.)

I said to Glenn – let’s hope all that’s over before Roi and Sean show up. It wasn’t and they did.

Roi got hit by a projectile and, amazingly for Sean - who had consumed several more pints than normal because of the EARLY START etc arrangements – he managed to keep things on an even keel, dragging Roi back. He reckons he was thanked by the plods for not allowing a whirlwind to be unleashed - and they made it back in time for the bus at 5.20.

Back in the Sporties we advised the landlord not to bother with the highlights on Sky. No one who was there will have waited-up to watch Match of the Day.

George went home for his tea a 7.00.